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| So, I'm going to rant a little. You know that feeling when your heart just sort of, sinks? I have that feeling, but I'm not sure why. I guess I do have a lot on my mind, but I don't know why that would make me feel the way I feel. I feel sick from getting in between people. I feel sick thinking that no one cares. I feel sick from knowing he's not here when I need him. I've noticed that over this past year or so I've become quiet. Reading that letter that was wrote to me made it definite. I bring calmness to my crazy group? I get irritated very easily now, and hurt very easily as well. I hate it. I want to drive somewhere. Somewhere far, and just have no interruptions from the world. I want to listen to silence, and not worry about having to come home. And the only thing that makes that possible, is unreasonable. I've been writing a lot lately, and when I read it over I get scared. Scared to see what I've become. What's taken over? Why can't I speak up? Why do I feel so trapped? I thought I had given up on getting close to people, but it's just part of life I guess. I wish I could let that part go, though. As much as some people make me happy, they make me miserable, too. End of rant...
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| From the Pixies
Where is my mind?
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| Tomorrow i'm going to hang out with Christina and Elaine! :D
At the moment, I just finished a movie, and now i'm listening to music, and trying to talk to Sam. I have no idea what's going on with her anymore. Oh well! Trying to focus on happy things.
So far summer has been boring, just sitting around and being lazy at home. 0: I'm sort of excited for summer school to start. D; But i'm going the second session- Starting July 9th. And hopefully if I don't fail I will get my license by then.
I'm having a weird feeling right now, like I feel sad, but i'm not sad. And I feel like I need to get something off my chest, but I don't have anything that's bothering me. Well, I guess the whole Sam situation, but I pretty much talked it all out this afternoon. So I don't know.
Been waking up WAY too early. 9:30, every day! I need to sleep later and get up later, so that way I don't feel like my day is totally dragging.
I wish it was raining now. The rain and the cold bring back good days. I miss sneaking out in the morning, teeth chattering, being held, and being told I was loved. I miss cuddling! And holding hands, and looking deep into those eyes. Let them know exactly how I was feeling. When I didn't even want anyone to know. Perfect...
I think i'm done now.
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| Haven't updated in a while 0: So life is pretty much amazing right now. No complaints what so ever. I'm so glad it's the weekend! Tomorrow is going to be fun, going to hang out with Hadeyeh, Peter, Charlie, Alan, Michell, and Ali. I don't like the heat. D; I have no idea what to write.
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